Happy Birthday Mummy

On the 3rd of February is my mummy's birthday , she was supposed to be 47 but sadly she not here , she's in a better place where all the pain is no longer with her.  Some days before I turned 18, I wasn't really looking forward to it because I was missing her badly...so I wrote this to vent my feelings out.

                                             Mummy 

I feel so alone in this world

No one around me understands the pain 

No one feels the sadness 

Of losing your mum at a young age

Your mum is supposed to be your hero 

Some one who knows you better than you know yourself 

Yet she was snatched away from me by the Hands of death

I had to learn to do things on my own

She he missed out on seeing me go to secondary school

On me getting my first period

She missed my graduation 

She missed the first day I left home for uni

She couldn't be there because death took her away from me

No one knows how it feels to go through those landmarks with a mum

You don't feel the pain I feel when I hear people talk about their mums 

I can't  look forward to going home to going to eat my 'mothers home cooked meal'

I feel so sad and am tired being strong and pretending it doesn't hurt anymore

She's going to miss when I graduate from university

When I get my first job and move finally out of the house

When I get married

When I have kids

She didn't get to be a grandma

I am not ready to move to next stage of my life

Am not grown enough to be 18

I still want her, I still need her 

To advise me and tell me what to do

I didn't get to know your words of wisdom

I didn't get to have my mum hold when am sad and down

To tell me it's alright and everything is going to be okay

I had to be my biggest cheerleader

I miss you mum and I wish you where still

I hope that things get better with time

Because I still need you.

 I miss you mummy, Happy Birthday... I will always love you