My true athentic self

*Cleans off the dust*

I swear it seems like I'm walking into a court room ready to be judged. My up's & downs are here and I have to explain why I haven't blogged in almost a year. I honestly can't explain, I have no one to blame but my self to be very honest. 

I want to keep this explanation short and sweet. There has been a lot going on in my life, that honestly has weighed me down. Maybe when I'm ready I would like to open up on the blog,  but I've also just been overwhelmed. When I'm so overwhelmed I just run away from the problem and I try and avoid it. There have been many times, I've come here, written a post but I've not published it. In fact I have so many posts in my drafts that I could I've publish for the sake of publishing but I didn't want to put out half-hatted content. Every day that passed I felt more and more like a failure and that just made me stop blogging all together. 

But I've missed blogging so much, I've missed the rush I get from planning a new post down to publishing it. I just need to remember why I started blogging in the first place,it was a space, my space where I could share my own ideas and finds. Not for anyone else and I want to get back there. So I'm not going to overwhelm my self by saying I'm going to be posting once a week or once a month...rather I'm just going to say you would see a post when you see a post. I can't put it on a schedule because it would just make me have bad anxiety. Maybe later when I'm strong enough, I might go back to scheduling my posts. I'm going to try and just be me, all of me. I promise not to let my shyness get the best of me, I promise to go back to being my true, authentic self. 

To the one or two people who stumbled upon this blog post or those who used to follow this blog. Thank you for reading this far and I hope you stay and watch me continue on this journey.