How the 2016 American Elections shook my Feminist views

Editor's note about this article I wrote this piece the day Donald Trump was elected, I just never posted it because i felt I was taking it too seriously. Looking back at it, I should have posted it because although I might have been dramatic in my experience, they are still valid. So I hope you enjoy. I also want to add that I am still very much a Feminist and I will always fight for women no matter what. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It was about 5:30 something when I had just got back from a long day of school.  Why is it today of all days I decided to wear heels? Why did I decide to walk around school and not go home immediately after class? Today was the day I went to bed at 2 am and woke up out of anxiety at 6 am because of the American Elections. I had a 9am and I wasn't even American, nor was I living there or even had family there, yet I followed the elections like I was Hillary Clinton herself. I only decided to go to bed thinking Trump cant win, Hillary has got this. Yeah sure it won't be a landslide and it would be close but she got this. It was about 30 minutes right before I was suppose to go for my lecture that I realised that I have been failed.  I grew up without a mother and without any female role model really. I have had to learn about my femininity from the internet. Tumblr and Youtube have been the closest things that I  have had to a female role model in life. It was through Tumblr with the help of Chimmada and Beyonce that I realise that I was a feminist. I had always been a feminist,I just didn't know what it was called.  I always had this ideology growing up seeing how women were treated unfairly, I just didn't know what it was. but bless the internet for educating me and making me realise that women are unequal to men in society . So I researched and I learnt most of my views of feminism from American but that didn't make it of less value in the society I lived in.  If the women, who presumably had it better than I do still have to fight to get equal pay in the diaspora talkless of me who lived in a country where child marriage is still an issue.  So when the time came to elect the 45th president , there was no doubt I was team Hillary. I mean am not saying she he best but compared to Donald trump she was a saint. I believe part of the reasons Hillary lost was because she is a woman, that's why some individuals did not vote for her, including women.  Feminism has truly failed me and my hope and beliefs, you want to know one of the reasons why make it Harder than women to win ? Its cause women don't support other women. Watching Hillary's concession speech, I saw in her the pain every woman who was more qualified than her male counterparts but still lost. the pain you see when you've worked so hard yet lose because you have vaigina. The pain when you realise that you might not be able to get to the highest position because you are female and that's when I lost all hope in being a woman. Now I don't know about my feminist believes anymore. Should I just admit defeat and submit to the fact that a man no matter what is going to be better than me or become anti-male and stop fight for equality between us instead I should fight for the superiority of the females...